I just wanted to thank all of you who shared memories of my mom! It is a treasure to my heart to hear people talk about the woman she was...I love stories of her! So thank you for taking time to write those! :)
Grief is so weird, isn't it?! 12 years and the pain is STILL there. It's ridiculous! I tell myself to get over it already...but the grief of today is different than the old grief. Today I grieve for the Patsy I am not allowed to know...the grown-up relationship we could have had...the way she would've loved on her grand-children...the way I could've called her and shared my heart as you only can with your own Mommy..being totally safe and secure.
It's not like I don't have tons and tons of wonderful women in my life who love me like Mom did. I do. My kids have 2 amazing grandmothers. But I still want MINE! Isn't that silly? I guess it's not really, but I am TIRED of missing her. I keep thinking that one day it won't hurt...but it will won't it? Every day till I get to see her again in Heaven. Thank God for his big arms of comfort and love that reach around me and dry my tears.
Sorry this is such a downer post...but sometimes it's nice to share your REAL heart---ya know?! thanks to all of you who shared your memories!!! I truly truly loved reading every word!!!!
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A record of the fun, chaos, and sorrows of this little family trying to make it in this world...my goal is to laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31), but also laugh at the days behind and the ones we're living.
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- JulieC
- Most days I feel like a little girl dressing up and playing "house"! I'm married to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful children who fill my days with laughter and joy (and a few tears too). My current motto for life is: Love Extravagantly. I pray that I please God with my daily life and that I follow His guidance above my own ideas.
4 comments:
Oh Julie...my heart aches for you. By writing and sharing, you've given us all such a precious gift...tears of love that remind us once again how blessed we are to have had the honor of knowing your mom. You are her beautiful legacy!
I, too, am aching for you Julie.
Tears come easily, and that's ok, it hurts because the love was so great. Though you miss her every day, SHE IS LIVING ON in YOU, you are a beautiful reflection of her! She loved you SOOOO much and was devoted to raising you into a precious child of God. She would want you to carry on by loving your kiddos and making those great memories for them, one day at a time, and by walking your Christian walk as she strived to, with love and humility.
She would have been such a cookie making, seeing them as much as she possibly could, down on the floor with them, kind of a grandma, I'm sure :) I can picture her huge smile at your family antics: eating dogfood, playing on the "puter", playing princess, making picture blocks and laughing at Jeff covering his face when he talks puppets to the kids. Though I'm not so sure she would want you to grab the camera first when they're hurt (insert an amicable grandmother to mother conversation here!!) :} Too, I know that she would have loved Jeff, and loved the family that you have made together.
Have total faith and confidence that you will be reunited with your mom again for eternity! I KNOW that she has a home in Heaven.Keep her alive in your heart, as her (and YOUR) friends will always do. Don't be afraid to keep loving her and think of her often.
love you so much.......<3 terri
This is such a touching tribute to your mother - thank you for sharing your real heart.
Julie, the pain and longing for a mom that isn't present, is a tribute to the mom she was when she was alive AND the mommy you are now. I think by "mothering" your own children you can connect to your own mother and in a small way be "mothered" yourself through your own children. God is good and He will provide comfort. I doubt that the pain will ever go away, but you will find peace in the end...rejoicing in heaven together.
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